Who Knew?

In life, we meet so many people. For some, it's simply a brief encounter, for others, it's a relationship that develops over the years. In middle school, everyone was called your "Best Friend", and that stupid saying, "best friends forever" became the punch line for every false promises made, to every childhood memory shared, because like time- those memories would fade, and friends would forget.

Well, I guess I didn't know that just because someone told you they'd be your friend forever, didn't mean that would actually occur.

In middle school, my most trialing years, I met this beautiful girl, smart and artistic. She and I had our ups and downs, but somehow, we got past it and high school was a great help. I guess high school was also a double-edged sword. Suddenly, we weren't the kids in middle school, we began to develop and discovered who we were. That couldn't be farther from who we had been.

For one, I discovered I was not into girls, and she discovered that she didn't think much about boundaries and others relationships. We both loved the arts, and shared MANY of the same dreams- and our relationship became tainted when life decided it would take me on this journey, that was allowing me to live the same common dreams we both shared. Except, while I was doing that, she was a by-stander, and she watched me, and I felt, bitterly so. Whenever I tried to share my happiness with her, she never seemed to be as happy as I would have imagined my best friend to feel.

Suddenly, our circle of friends changed, we changed some more, and it all became about balancing our hectic lives, while trying to remember the individuals we once were, that made us friends in the first place. I told myself that no matter where life would take us after high school, that we would remain friends, but who would have known that June 30th would mark the end for my long-time friend and I?

Granted we have gone through a lot together, we've seen each other at our worse, and stood by each other's side. I believed in everything we said to one another, how we'd be friends forever. I can't help but think of Pink's song, "Who Knew" which is why this blog is entitled that.

You took my hand, you showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh, that's right

I took your words and I believed
In everything you said to me
Yeah huh, that's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong

I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever, who knew?

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no, no no

I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything

Now, half way through our first year of college, we couldn't be any further from one another, and the friendship I thought we formed. I may not be perfect, and I can sometimes be a crappy friend- but the one thing I pride myself on, is that no matter HOW busy or HECTIC my life gets, I always make some time for those I claim to care for, for those I call my friends.

I wish I could still call her my friend, I truly would give anything for that--but when life takes you in different directions, and your friendship isn't based on the foundation you thought it was, how could you know that it wouldn't last?

I am sad, angry, and confused- who knew that someone I once considered my dearest friend, would become the person I grieved for, although she is very much alive, she's just vacant in my life.

Cherish your friends, because although others tried to warn me, you won't know, until it happens to you- when the friendship you thought you had, just disbands. I thought I knew her, but I guess life has a way of changing people so much, that even their physical appearance becomes distorted in your mind.