Push

How many times have you tried to walk through a door, or tried to pull it when the door states "PUSH"? Clearly, there is a moment of embarrassment and then you quickly push the door open.

Could you imagine the differenence there would be in our personal lives if, like with the door, we just push through and move on even when we are forced to deal with a situation. Moving on, pushing forward, and leaving the past in the past is a difficult task. Our memories won't let us forget, and our hearts can't mend the wound fast enough, and the tracks where our tears fell, leaves a dry stain- a visible reminder.

We may hoarder on to these feelings for days, weeks, months, and for some, years before we have that moment when our lungs contract, our chest tightens, and our body stiffens, followed by a sigh.

Recently, after a year and a half of an on and off again relationship with someone, he and I both realized it was ending, but I didn't know it would all go down the way it did. For the sake of his privacy, I won't get into details but when my comfort zone was crumbling before my eyes, I couldn't believe it. A part of me was in denial, thinking that he and I would make it work like every other time in our lives. However, this time- it felt different! I began to get angry, sad, and tears developed and for the first time in the past year and a half, I was going to have to push forward, knowing that there wouldn't be a moment of returning to his arms. This time, we were done, and for good this time.

And then, after a few days of feeling down, teary eye, and over analyzing every detail, there came a point when I felt a sense of relief, the pressure eased and suddenly I realized- I began the process of moving on. It is all new to me, moving on, the entire process- when you develop feelings for someone else, and your lives begin to interlock, it's hard to imagine how different it will be without them in it.

Yet, despite the difficulties, I am learning that I have to continue to push myself, and not allow myself to give up and get stuck in the situation. The silver lining of one ending, is that there is a new beginning, waiting to be started, you just have to push far enough to get there.