“Fair or not, I expect almost perfection from you because I know
for a fact you can deliver it.”
It’s been a while since I wrote a
blog, pardon me as I struggle through finals and packing for the end of the
semester—I’m sure most of you can relate to that.
I
started this blog post with a quote from someone who I have worked with in the
past, we will call them Sam, and their expectation of me moving forward on
current projects. When I read Sam’s email I instantly felt disappointed; despite
my efforts to tell people not to hold me on any pedestal, they continue to do
so. I am reminded of Oprah’s Next Chapter interview with Rihanna, when she
said, “I never asked to be a role model”, and while I always argue that with
the platform RiRi has, that with her influence comes a great power and with
great power comes great responsibility, I have not forgotten that she will make
mistakes.
No
one is perfect because perfection is something we are always striving but never
something we achieve. When people like Sam put that kind of pressure on me, it
places a burden I should not have to carry—don’t get me wrong, I hold high
standards of myself and my work but I had to learn that I can’t always get
things right, that I have to be okay with failing at times if that means
growing, and I learned that for some odd reason, since as far as I could
remember, the “teachers” in my life always held me in a light that not every
student was put in.
The
notion that one who knows better should do better is true but when people like
Sam say things like “fair or not”, it indicates that whether I want to be on
that pedestal or not, I don’t have a choice. The truth is that I shouldn’t have
to worry about this, my work speaks for itself but I, like everyone else, will
make mistakes along the way and my only hope is that those who hold me up so
high on the pedestal, won’t be the same ones pushing me off of it if and when I
fail or make a mistake.
Here’s my advice to the “teachers” of the
world: remember that the person you are trying to mold and teach is NOT a
reflection of who you are, you helping them isn’t your opportunity to live an
aspect of who you are through them. Make sure the spaces you create around that
“student of life” is one that allows for teach-able moments, not moments of
shame. It’s not fair and it is NOT okay to do what Sam did to me today, it’s
not fair to expect perfection when that is simply setting me up for failure—don’t
set anyone up for failure because when they fail, they will already know they’ve
disappointed you, and there’s nothing harder to shake than disappointment.
I
know I am “Mark Rivera”—that in my community I have influence which equates to
power, and I know that with that power comes a great responsibility but NEVER
forget that I am more than my titles, that my awards are just a representation
of a job well done, not of perfection, and that I am just like every other 21
year old college student—trying to navigate this world the best way I can.
For
those who I will disappoint, thank you for being patient and for understanding
that while I may have impressed you beyond my years, I’m still learning and
growing with each passing day.
Save
your pedestal, I prefer the spotlight, it allows me to stand on the ground so
that when I fall down, I’m closer to the ground, and the injury won’t be as
severe. Let me shine; don’t let your representation of who I am overshadow the
reality: let me define what it means for me to be a role model, let me continue
to aspire to inspire, let me be just like every other student.
