5 Things You Need to Forget

             “I will forgive, but I will never forget”—probably one of the worse expressions ever created. It indicates that an individual hasn’t truly forgiven the other person and their wrongdoing.

            I believe that in order to truly forgive, one MUST be willing to forget it occurred—make no mention of it, don’t throw it back in the person’s face, and stop allowing your mind to dwell on it.

            Some tips on dealing with love and relationships.

            Here are 5 things I think you need to forget:

1.   Forget the Fairy Tales, Remember Love Hurts

            Growing up we watch these fairy tales and get an idea of the kind of “prince” or “princess” we should want but beside the fact that those characters are not real, the notion that there’s always going to be a happy ending is misleading—love sometimes hurts (not referring to domestic/sexual violence) but more so when things don’t work out, when the love dies, it hurts.

2.   Forget Mistakes, Remember Amends

            This ties in to the introduction I wrote to this blog, in order to forgive someone whole heartedly, we have to be willing to move on and forget the mistake even occurred. More often than not we are quick to remember one’s failures and forget to recognize their amends and the efforts they have since made not to repeat those mistakes. If you truly forgive them, show them that you do and you can begin to do that by not reminding them that they made an error.

3.   Forget About Perfection, Real Relationships Aren’t Perfect           

            We often get caught up creating the “ideal” partner, writing down on a piece of paper all of the qualities and attributes we would like our lover to have. This list is created from a fictional perspective; the belief that you will be able to find the “perfect” match is just not true. Perfection is something we strive for, not something we ever attain.

            Real relationships require compromise, teamwork, and the acceptance of imperfections. This isn’t saying abandon all of your standards but it is just telling you to remain realistic with the “list” you form in your head, in your attempt to find the “perfect” person, you may miss out on the right person for you.

4.   Forget About Exes, They Can’t Hurt You Anymore           

      Our past mistakes make us fear the prospects of the future. Afraid of things going wrong like it did with your ex, you sometimes shut out a potential person because you are still recovering from what your ex did to you.

      Forget about them, they can’t hurt you anymore. Let them remain in your past and be willing to trust someone else again because no one should have to pay for the mistakes someone else made. Just because the last person hurt you, doesn’t mean the next one will do you wrong.

5.   Forget Your Ego, “Me” versus “We”

            It is so easy to make everything about you and what you want out a relationship that you forget that it isn’t all about you and that once you committed to a relationship, it becomes less about you as an individual and more about the “we”, two lives merging.

            Please note that this doesn’t mean you lose your own individual identity once you decide to get with someone but this means that sometimes you have to take the spotlight off of you and put it on someone else, your partner. Remember love requires hard work, compromise, and a team approach, when the “me” versus the “we”, you should always want the “we” win.            

Writer's Note:

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Written by Mark Travis Rivera | www.MarkTravisRivera.com | @MarkTravRivera

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