When My Words Aren’t Enough

7/24/12

I think we all have that one person in our lives that no matter how much we tell them we love them or how beautiful they are to us, they will doubt us and themselves. It is what happens when an individual is insecure and refuses to believe that they are loved and beautiful beyond measure.

I find myself growing restless with him, trying so hard to save him, to rid him of his insecurities but the truth is, he is fighting a war I cannot participate in, he is at war with himself. As I watch him build his walls, his barriers, as I watch him shut down and keep me out, I grieved for him. I grieve for the beautiful person he hates, I feel hurt because I can’t stop the self-inflicting misery he is causing himself.

As he lashes out, acts out of character, and continues to put distance between us, I am realizing that my words aren’t enough and when they aren’t enough, I simply must accept the fact that nothing I say or do will change his perception. He will still look in the mirror and believe he is not beautiful. He still will look in the mirror and believe he is not loved. He will still look in the mirror and believe that he cannot trust anyone because he has been hurt.

This puts me in a situation I cannot control and while it hurts me to see him this way, I won’t be his emotional punching bag. I won’t put my life on hold anymore, and I won’t allow him to drain me in his process of self-destruction.

When my words aren’t enough, I hope the love I have for him is enough—maybe one day he will wake up and realize that he was loved and admired all along. That he will wake up and look into the mirror and see himself the way I view him, one day.