What Adele’s "21" Taught Me

     It is no surprise that I am a huge fan of Adele—I’d like to think that I am one of her original fans, I liked her from the moment VH1 featured her in artists you ought to know back when her first album “19” was released.

     However, it wasn’t until Adele released her sophomore album “21” that made her a music icon—some even labeled her the voice of this generation. I am not obsessed with “21” simply because Adele became trendy and overplayed on the radio, I am obsessed with “21” because the album represented a period of my life, my first love, it was as if our relationship problems could be played in a musical with only the tracks listed on “21”.

     When the album first dropped back in 2011, my ex-boyfriend and I had just decided it was time to finally end things between us and the months after that decision would be nothing but a lot of ups and a lot of downs.

            

     Adele’s “21” album taught me that I am not alone in the way I was feeling and here’s my track back story and how some songs on the album have impacted me in a major way.

Rolling In The Deep— beside it being overplayed on the radio, the lyrics to this song had to really grow on me. “The scars of your love remind me of us, they keep me thinking we almost had it all, the scars of your love, they leave me breathless, I can’t help feeling, we could have had it all” I kept thinking about all the things that would have been different had my ex boyfriend and I worked things out, had we not given up. Sometimes though, it is better to roll in the deep on your own then to have someone who will only make you drown in the depth of it all.

           

Turning Tables— perhaps my favorite song on the album, it is also the song that represents the most frustrating aspect of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, we’re constantly turning the tables on each other, placing blame as to why we can’t seem to get to a point where we can function. We tried to get back the friendship we lost, we admitted that we still care for each other, yet he is with someone else and I am left here, with the table unturned. This song also taught me that I can’t keep allowing my ex to come in and out of my life, regardless of how we feel, his actions contradict his feelings or what he said he envisioned for us.

Don’t You Remember— is probably the most painful songs to hear on the album. I literally bust out into tears when this song plays, painfully beautiful. I think this song just reminded me that no matter how much time goes by, no matter the distance, no one wants to be forgotten. I guess it was just my inability to move on, replaying critical moments in our relationship over and over again.  I had to learn that it was okay to reminisce, but it wasn’t okay to dwell.

He Won’t Go— Adele has never played this song live, sadly! This song reminded me about the aspect of our dysfunctional “friendship” – is it even possible to be friends with your ex? It seems like NO matter how bad we treated each other or lashed out after our break up, we couldn’t truly cut one another out of our lives. I wouldn’t go and neither would he. Regardless of what others told us, we just couldn’t let go. I am still struggling to.

Take It All— was my ultimate wish, for him to take all of me. It became my ballad, my main point in every argument, “How could you walk away from all my tears?” I learned in time that no matter how much we GIVE to a person, if they are unwilling to take it, you have to keep going. This song was just a symbolic reminder that we have given up on each other and we just have to move forward, we all know how difficult that can be.

Someone Like You— the last two years has been interesting. Ultimately though, “Someone Like You” taught me that while things didn’t work out with my ex and I, he is the kind of man I’d ultimately want to end up with. He is smart, caring, supportive, and has aspirations, dreams he wants to see come true. Now my ex-boyfriend is with someone else, they seem happy, I mean I know things are not perfect between them but clearly my ex has moved on and I have to move on too.

     Essentially Adele’s 21 helped me realize that a break up is not something one simply gets over, it’s a process, one spent crying, laughing, remembering, and fighting. But Adele allowed her heartbreak to inspire her work and I think ultimately that is exactly what I did—he inspired three dance pieces, a few poems, and a ton of tweets.

     Don’t let anyone put you on the backburner, know your worth, move on, and no matter what happens—something better awaits you, don’t forget that, ever.