Putting Down the Bottle

Feel free to listen to Maria Mena's "This Bottle of Wine" as you read this blog.

For many of us, turning 21 is a defining moment in our young adult life.

Like many high schoolers, on occasion I would have a drink or two at house parties and/or gatherings. I found that drinking wasn't an issue for me unless I was in a bad state of mind. If mentally I was off, then drinking became a major issue.

In the last year, I had some really dangerous and terrible experiences due to alcohol, like many people who are dealing with depression or a lot of various issues-- I was seeking a way to cope. Drinking is my way of coping. Drinking while in this state of mind is not only irresponsible, it is detrimental to my efforts to improve my wellbeing.

As of today, after having to deal with the consequences of an action I took while under the influence, I am putting down the bottle...I am not going to drink. I am not saying I won't ever drink again but until I can figure everything else out, I can't afford to keep numbing.

It's starting to cost me too much to numb, I need to feel what I have to feel and get through this.

I hope me sharing this will give someone the courage to put the bottle down as well, we can't afford to drown ourselves.

A Page a Day in November

                There is a campaign to get writers to write a page a day in November, so starting today I will commit to this pledge—join me in writing.

                I will publish a blog a day about a variety of things in order to take part of the page a day challenge.

             Be sure to follow me on Twitter @markingthepath  

An Ode to My Body

An Ode to My Body

Forgive me for I have forsaken you,

Thrown you into the lion’s den of life—

Pushed you to the very core of your being

Until you began to break

Crippled,

Frail,

Bruised,

Sore, unable to fully move

Still I adore you. 

At the conception of my birth,

Premature, I was given you

And you were given the task of being my keeper

Of holding within you my soul

Tired,

Beaten,

Swollen,

Stiff, unable to fully move

Still I adore you.

For without you, I could not be

You have given me the facility to live my dreams

I adore you and all your glory,

No matter how worn out you are,

No matter how much your weight fluctuates,

No matter how much your muscles spasms interrupt my sleep

I appreciate you. I love you.

May you always remember that I adore you, even when I run us both to the ground

A Morning Haiku #1

A Morning Haiku #1

Love is elusive—

It is your greatness they adore

But your heart they ignore

     Often times we stunt our creativity when we decide to ignore our inner-muse. Take some time from your day to be creative, to write, sing, dance, act, design, draw, etc. 

    Let your muse guide you through the creation process. 

@markingthepath 

The Magnitude of Persistence: Not Equating My Zip Code with My ‘Life Code’

                For many young boys of color who grow up in the inner cities, the hood, the ‘ghetto’, or the slums as some would say, it’s hard to see beyond the city limits.

                At least that is how we are socialized to view our surroundings. I am a Latino, I hail from a single-mother household, living below the poverty threshold, a product of the public school system, a statistic we often hear about those who look like me, and I belong to multiple marginalized groups, and still I persist.

                This isn’t a blog about how my success means that everyone has the same opportunity, I realize that while I put in a lot of work to get to where I am now, I also recognized I was lucky to have folks enter my life who made sure I realized that there was more to life than the street corner.

    Being born premature meant I was frail in the eyes of my mother, she kept me sheltered.  I couldn’t dream of being the next big rapper, despite being talkative, I was afraid to speak up so I kept my lines of poetry hidden inside a journal. I couldn’t dream of being the next big athlete because my crippled legs kept me on the sidelines, as the other kids got to play.

                

                I was encouraged to read by my teachers, my academic performance granted me entrance into specialized academies, and later my talents would get me into the city’s only performing arts high school. See my journey through the public school system was only made possible because I had educators who took pride in their work and invested in me.

    From the streets I saw what drugs could do to a dream, I saw how hanging out too long on the street corner made you a hot target for murder, I saw how the bright city lights blinded folks from seeing beyond the city landscape.

             

                I knew I didn’t want my zip code to determine my ‘life code’—I didn’t want where I came from to determine where I would go in life, or what dreams I would decide not to follow, or just how far fetched I would allow my mind to wander as it began to develop goals that seemed impossible in the eyes of many.

                

                 This past Saturday I did a workshop presentation at Harvard—yes, Harvard, a first generation college student got to do a workshop presentation at Harvard and tomorrow I will be giving a keynote address and performance at New York University. I decided my ‘life code’ would be that no matter how difficult or what obstacles would form before me, I would continue to walk on my path, that I would continue to live for my purpose, that I would aspire to inspire others to do the same and that I wouldn’t allow anyone to take away my ability to live my truth.    

                 

                 To persist in life means to keep going despite having every valid reason to give up. To persist in life means to believe in the impossible of dreams and not allow them to be deferred. To persist in life means to embrace every aspect of your identities, no matter what they might be. To persist in life means to see the world beyond the city you were raised in.

                

                 Progress only came because others before us persisted that change was needed, they fought for it, they kept pushing for it, and they were not willing to settle for second-class citizenship. From birth I had to fight to stay alive, growing up I had to know what streets to avoid late at night in order to avoid putting my life on the line. I had to fight through a broken education system and then I had to fight to get into college because brown boys like me who graduate high school with a 2.4 are not expected to make it…then again we aren’t even expected to make it out of high school.

                

                 I fought to live my truth, to create the kind of life I could be proud to claim as my own. Now in my fourth year in college, as my career truly begins to unfold before my eyes, as my dreams begin to take flight, I am more thankful for my zip code because where I come from shaped me into the person I became and where I came from inspired me to persist, that despite the odds, I wanted to see more of the world…and my sightseeing is just beginning.

                I hope you too find the courage to persist, to go beyond your zip code, to travel your path and to discover yourself and the world in a whole new way.

www.marktravisrivera.com | @markingthepath 

Coming Back Soon

Now that I am back from California, I will be sure to write ONE blog per week-- publication date will be on Fridays.

Feel free to check out my new website at www.marktravisrivera.com.

@markingthepath

:)

"I" Message of the Week (5/13/13)

Marking The Path will publish (1) “I” message a week, every Monday, in addition to other posts. This message is intended to remind you of how amazing you are, to be read aloud, and to allow you to take a moment to focus on yourself.

 

 

I can’t hold back, not now, not later.

I can’t live in fear, I must be willing to take the next step and risk the fall.

 

I can dare to dream and have it all.

 

Follow me on Twitter @markingthepath

Stepping Off Your Pedestal

“Fair or not, I expect almost perfection from you because I know for a fact you can deliver it.”

 

            It’s been a while since I wrote a blog, pardon me as I struggle through finals and packing for the end of the semester—I’m sure most of you can relate to that.

            I started this blog post with a quote from someone who I have worked with in the past, we will call them Sam, and their expectation of me moving forward on current projects. When I read Sam’s email I instantly felt disappointed; despite my efforts to tell people not to hold me on any pedestal, they continue to do so. I am reminded of Oprah’s Next Chapter interview with Rihanna, when she said, “I never asked to be a role model”, and while I always argue that with the platform RiRi has, that with her influence comes a great power and with great power comes great responsibility, I have not forgotten that she will make mistakes.

            No one is perfect because perfection is something we are always striving but never something we achieve. When people like Sam put that kind of pressure on me, it places a burden I should not have to carry—don’t get me wrong, I hold high standards of myself and my work but I had to learn that I can’t always get things right, that I have to be okay with failing at times if that means growing, and I learned that for some odd reason, since as far as I could remember, the “teachers” in my life always held me in a light that not every student was put in.

            The notion that one who knows better should do better is true but when people like Sam say things like “fair or not”, it indicates that whether I want to be on that pedestal or not, I don’t have a choice. The truth is that I shouldn’t have to worry about this, my work speaks for itself but I, like everyone else, will make mistakes along the way and my only hope is that those who hold me up so high on the pedestal, won’t be the same ones pushing me off of it if and when I fail or make a mistake.

            Here’s my advice to the “teachers” of the world: remember that the person you are trying to mold and teach is NOT a reflection of who you are, you helping them isn’t your opportunity to live an aspect of who you are through them. Make sure the spaces you create around that “student of life” is one that allows for teach-able moments, not moments of shame. It’s not fair and it is NOT okay to do what Sam did to me today, it’s not fair to expect perfection when that is simply setting me up for failure—don’t set anyone up for failure because when they fail, they will already know they’ve disappointed you, and there’s nothing harder to shake than disappointment.

            I know I am “Mark Rivera”—that in my community I have influence which equates to power, and I know that with that power comes a great responsibility but NEVER forget that I am more than my titles, that my awards are just a representation of a job well done, not of perfection, and that I am just like every other 21 year old college student—trying to navigate this world the best way I can.

            For those who I will disappoint, thank you for being patient and for understanding that while I may have impressed you beyond my years, I’m still learning and growing with each passing day.

            Save your pedestal, I prefer the spotlight, it allows me to stand on the ground so that when I fall down, I’m closer to the ground, and the injury won’t be as severe. Let me shine; don’t let your representation of who I am overshadow the reality: let me define what it means for me to be a role model, let me continue to aspire to inspire, let me be just like every other student.   

           

"I" Message of the Week (4/29/13)

Marking The Path will publish (1) “I” message a week, every Monday, in addition to other posts. This message is intended to remind you of how amazing you are, to be read aloud, and to allow you to take a moment to focus on yourself.

I can only live my truth as I see fit.

I can only be the person I believe myself to be.

I can only try to remain me, free.

*dedicated to Jason Collins, the NBA player who came out today, becoming the first athlete to come out while still working in the sports industry as a player. *

Follow me on Twitter @markingthepath

5 Things You Need to Forget

             “I will forgive, but I will never forget”—probably one of the worse expressions ever created. It indicates that an individual hasn’t truly forgiven the other person and their wrongdoing.

            I believe that in order to truly forgive, one MUST be willing to forget it occurred—make no mention of it, don’t throw it back in the person’s face, and stop allowing your mind to dwell on it.

            Some tips on dealing with love and relationships.

            Here are 5 things I think you need to forget:

1.   Forget the Fairy Tales, Remember Love Hurts

            Growing up we watch these fairy tales and get an idea of the kind of “prince” or “princess” we should want but beside the fact that those characters are not real, the notion that there’s always going to be a happy ending is misleading—love sometimes hurts (not referring to domestic/sexual violence) but more so when things don’t work out, when the love dies, it hurts.

2.   Forget Mistakes, Remember Amends

            This ties in to the introduction I wrote to this blog, in order to forgive someone whole heartedly, we have to be willing to move on and forget the mistake even occurred. More often than not we are quick to remember one’s failures and forget to recognize their amends and the efforts they have since made not to repeat those mistakes. If you truly forgive them, show them that you do and you can begin to do that by not reminding them that they made an error.

3.   Forget About Perfection, Real Relationships Aren’t Perfect           

            We often get caught up creating the “ideal” partner, writing down on a piece of paper all of the qualities and attributes we would like our lover to have. This list is created from a fictional perspective; the belief that you will be able to find the “perfect” match is just not true. Perfection is something we strive for, not something we ever attain.

            Real relationships require compromise, teamwork, and the acceptance of imperfections. This isn’t saying abandon all of your standards but it is just telling you to remain realistic with the “list” you form in your head, in your attempt to find the “perfect” person, you may miss out on the right person for you.

4.   Forget About Exes, They Can’t Hurt You Anymore           

      Our past mistakes make us fear the prospects of the future. Afraid of things going wrong like it did with your ex, you sometimes shut out a potential person because you are still recovering from what your ex did to you.

      Forget about them, they can’t hurt you anymore. Let them remain in your past and be willing to trust someone else again because no one should have to pay for the mistakes someone else made. Just because the last person hurt you, doesn’t mean the next one will do you wrong.

5.   Forget Your Ego, “Me” versus “We”

            It is so easy to make everything about you and what you want out a relationship that you forget that it isn’t all about you and that once you committed to a relationship, it becomes less about you as an individual and more about the “we”, two lives merging.

            Please note that this doesn’t mean you lose your own individual identity once you decide to get with someone but this means that sometimes you have to take the spotlight off of you and put it on someone else, your partner. Remember love requires hard work, compromise, and a team approach, when the “me” versus the “we”, you should always want the “we” win.            

Writer's Note:

As a writer, I love for the stories I write and the material I create to be shared and discussed-- however, I ask that you respect my intellectual property and that you attribute my writing if you decide to share it on any other platform:

Written by Mark Travis Rivera | www.MarkTravisRivera.com | @MarkTravRivera

Thank you in advance. 

"I" Message of the Week (4/22/13)

 Marking The Path will publish (1) “I” message a week, in addition to other posts. This message is intended to remind you of how amazing you are, to be read aloud, and to allow you to take a moment to focus on yourself.

 

 

 

 

   I believe that I will make a difference in the world.

 

I believe my purpose is far greater than my fears.

 

I believe this week will be better than last week.

 

I believe today is just the beginning of something amazing.

 

 

Follow me on Twitter @markingthepath

“I” Message of the Week

This week's...“I” Message of the Week

Staring today, Marking The Path will publish (1) “I” message a week, in addition to other posts. This message is intended to remind you of how amazing you are, to be read aloud, and to allow you to take a moment to focus on yourself.

      I have the potential to do amazing work—to change my community for the better. I possess the ability to learn, to grow, and to pay it forward when the time comes for me to do so.

      I will conquer this day with that belief in mind—as I begin to get work done, accomplish today’s goals, and make progress.

       The work I do  makes a difference.

Follow him on Twitter @markingthepath

I Am Done Correcting You (Tips on Understanding Gender Differences)

Miss. Sir. Are you a girl? Are you a guy?

            It seems like society is obsessed with trying to box people in—male or female. Our curiosity about someone’s identity leads us to make judgments, assumptions, and to display what I consider to be rude behaviors.

            What do I mean? Simple: because my gender expression isn’t that of the typical “male” expression, I tend to confuse people when I say my name is Mark.  My eccentric androgynous, and may I say fabulous look makes some people feel uncomfortable.

            However, I am done correcting those who attempt to box me in, I am done trying to reassure them that I am a man, of explaining myself—my gender is none of anyone’s business BUT I do understand that it can be difficult to understand the spectrum of sexuality and gender which at times can be complex for those who are not part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community (even some folks within the LGBT community struggle to understand). So here are some tips to help people understand:

          1.    Try to be neutral

Avoid referring to someone in the binary of “she/he”, “her/him” “Mrs. /Mr.”, and “ma’m/ sir”.

Example: Instead of saying, “Sir how may I help you today?" try saying, “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Some feel uncomfortable when they are referred to as the opposite gender identity or in a way that doesn't describe who they are.

      2. Walking into the restroom is no accident

Most people don’t accidently walk into the wrong bathroom, so if you see someone walking into a particular restroom—just know it is rude to give a dirty look or ask them if they are “mistaken”, they know where they are and what restroom they want to use. Let people use the bathroom in peace.

            3.   Respect

I know it may seem silly to write down “respect” but at the end of the day, it all boils down to that one common want/need—to be respected. It’s okay if you are not fully informed or educated on sexuality and gender and the massive LGBT community but someone’s ignorance of an area does not give them free reign to be disrespectful.

You can show this respect in a lot of ways—ask someone what their preferred pronouns are, don’t ask them if they are a “woman” or “guy”, believe it or not, there are people who don’t identify with either one of those labels.

It also helps to say sorry if you may someone else feel dehumanized or belittled by your actions, acknowledging the other person’s feelings and your error shows that you are aware of the mistake and it is also a sign of respect.

It takes some adjustment to use language that is inclusive of all people, but take it one step at a time and reach out to your local LGBT center or organization, they can assist you in learning because simply put: I am done correcting you.

Follow me on Twitter @markingthepath

DISCLAIMER: This post simply touches the surface of some of the issues as it pertains to gender identity, sexuality, and gender expression. I encourage you to do research, speak to your local organizations as it pertains to the LGBTQA community. 

Revenge: The Bittersweet Desire

I am flying thousands of feet in the air—I am on an airplane of course, I still haven’t discovered how to fly yet but when I do, I will be sure to tell all of you.

            As I look outside the window, I am reminded of the beauty of the world and the clouds provided a foggy “mirror” and forced me to realize that I have not been viewing my life through the right lens. Instead I have been hoarding regrets, anger, and resentment towards those who have caused me a great deal of pain—plotting in my head how I could get revenge instead of focusing on moving on.

            I am not a spiteful person and while my tongue may be sharp, I am not one to cause intentional harm or suffering to anyone. So why has this need for vengeance swept over me? I don’t know to be honest but I can infer that this bittersweet desire to get back at those who hurt me is a natural part of coping and a part of the process everyone goes through. It is human of you to want to get revenge but you must fight against that urge because revenge comes at a great price—any comfort you get from that action of revenge will be at the expense of someone else’s well-being, the cost you would pay is knowing you are the cause of someone else’s suffering.

            You are probably rationalizing that if someone hurt you first, that you have every right to hurt them back. That may be a reason but that doesn’t give you the right to victimize another. To quotes James Baldwin,

            “People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they lead."

            Let go of the hurt, let go of the vengeful thoughts you have in your head. Don’t allow yourself to become bitter—for it will be a bitter life you shall lead for yourself.

            Don’t let this desire ruin you.

Follow me on Twitter @markingthepath

The Road Trip to Somewhere

You are on the road,

Heading somewhere still unknown

Keep driving forward

Here’s a haiku to remind yourself to keep going, even when the destination is not clearly visible—your life is your road trip, to somewhere.

Follow me on Twitter @markingthepath

What Adele’s "21" Taught Me

     It is no surprise that I am a huge fan of Adele—I’d like to think that I am one of her original fans, I liked her from the moment VH1 featured her in artists you ought to know back when her first album “19” was released.

     However, it wasn’t until Adele released her sophomore album “21” that made her a music icon—some even labeled her the voice of this generation. I am not obsessed with “21” simply because Adele became trendy and overplayed on the radio, I am obsessed with “21” because the album represented a period of my life, my first love, it was as if our relationship problems could be played in a musical with only the tracks listed on “21”.

     When the album first dropped back in 2011, my ex-boyfriend and I had just decided it was time to finally end things between us and the months after that decision would be nothing but a lot of ups and a lot of downs.

            

     Adele’s “21” album taught me that I am not alone in the way I was feeling and here’s my track back story and how some songs on the album have impacted me in a major way.

Rolling In The Deep— beside it being overplayed on the radio, the lyrics to this song had to really grow on me. “The scars of your love remind me of us, they keep me thinking we almost had it all, the scars of your love, they leave me breathless, I can’t help feeling, we could have had it all” I kept thinking about all the things that would have been different had my ex boyfriend and I worked things out, had we not given up. Sometimes though, it is better to roll in the deep on your own then to have someone who will only make you drown in the depth of it all.

           

Turning Tables— perhaps my favorite song on the album, it is also the song that represents the most frustrating aspect of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, we’re constantly turning the tables on each other, placing blame as to why we can’t seem to get to a point where we can function. We tried to get back the friendship we lost, we admitted that we still care for each other, yet he is with someone else and I am left here, with the table unturned. This song also taught me that I can’t keep allowing my ex to come in and out of my life, regardless of how we feel, his actions contradict his feelings or what he said he envisioned for us.

Don’t You Remember— is probably the most painful songs to hear on the album. I literally bust out into tears when this song plays, painfully beautiful. I think this song just reminded me that no matter how much time goes by, no matter the distance, no one wants to be forgotten. I guess it was just my inability to move on, replaying critical moments in our relationship over and over again.  I had to learn that it was okay to reminisce, but it wasn’t okay to dwell.

He Won’t Go— Adele has never played this song live, sadly! This song reminded me about the aspect of our dysfunctional “friendship” – is it even possible to be friends with your ex? It seems like NO matter how bad we treated each other or lashed out after our break up, we couldn’t truly cut one another out of our lives. I wouldn’t go and neither would he. Regardless of what others told us, we just couldn’t let go. I am still struggling to.

Take It All— was my ultimate wish, for him to take all of me. It became my ballad, my main point in every argument, “How could you walk away from all my tears?” I learned in time that no matter how much we GIVE to a person, if they are unwilling to take it, you have to keep going. This song was just a symbolic reminder that we have given up on each other and we just have to move forward, we all know how difficult that can be.

Someone Like You— the last two years has been interesting. Ultimately though, “Someone Like You” taught me that while things didn’t work out with my ex and I, he is the kind of man I’d ultimately want to end up with. He is smart, caring, supportive, and has aspirations, dreams he wants to see come true. Now my ex-boyfriend is with someone else, they seem happy, I mean I know things are not perfect between them but clearly my ex has moved on and I have to move on too.

     Essentially Adele’s 21 helped me realize that a break up is not something one simply gets over, it’s a process, one spent crying, laughing, remembering, and fighting. But Adele allowed her heartbreak to inspire her work and I think ultimately that is exactly what I did—he inspired three dance pieces, a few poems, and a ton of tweets.

     Don’t let anyone put you on the backburner, know your worth, move on, and no matter what happens—something better awaits you, don’t forget that, ever. 

5 Things to Remind Yourself of Daily

 1. You are only one person…

           They say it takes a village to raise a child, so I will say that some work requires teamwork. Cut yourself some slack and be mindful of how much you take on—taking on more than you can handle will only lead to stress, let downs, and unneeded frustration. Remember, you are one of many!

2. You are worthy of love…

            Stop trying to tell yourself that you are not lovable, with your flaws and all someone is looking for you, awaiting for your paths to cross. Do yourself a favor and stop trying to hinder the potential for a new connection simply because you are afraid of repeating a past failure. Remember, you are lovable!

3. You are not perfect…

            Perfection is something we strive for, not something we ever become. Focus instead on improving yourself, that’s possible, that’s an attainable and realistic goal. Do not allow what you see in the media to taint the perception you have of yourself. Remember, you can never be perfect and that’s okay!

4. You are important…

            Never short change the difference you make in the community around you. Since there is only one of you—you’re unique and never forget to value the work you do even if those around you do not. Remember, you matter!

5. You are not alone…

            Often times it is easy to feel isolated and to think you are alone in your suffering. However, you are not alone and while your circumstances are unique and that of your own, there are people every day going through some type of struggle, and like you, they work hard to overcome it. Remember, you are never alone!

 These are 5 things you should remind yourself of daily! 

Feel free to share this post, follow me on Twitter @markingthepath and let me know what you think!

  

Getting Out of Bed, Physically and Mentally

When you get out of bed in the morning, are you just physically getting out of bed? Yes, this means that you fight the pillow, pull off the sheets, and begin to start your day.

 

However, we all have those mornings where we physically get out of bed but mentally, we are still hiding in the comfort of our warm and fuzzy comforters, still pondering the dreams that occurred last night.

 

Did you ever wonder why some people struggle to get up in the morning? This is not referring to the college student who went out last night for Thirsty Thursday and just had too much to drink, but referring to the individual who sincerely struggles to get up and fully function.

 

Depression can be the reason why some people cannot get of bed mentally even if they physically can.

 

According to Webster Dictionary, depression is defined as, (1): a state of feeling sad : dejection (2): a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies.

 

Do you think about how it impacts you, either directly or indirectly? As college students, according to PsychCentral’s website:

 

·         One out of every five young people and one out of ever four college students or adults suffers from some form of diagnosable mental illness.

·         Suicide is the third leading cause of death among people ages 15-24, and the second leading cause of death in college students ages 20-24.

 

·         44 percent of American college students reported feeling symptoms of depression.

I can only speak from my own personal experience with depression and recently I wrote an essay talking about the day that I could not get out of bed, physically and mentally I was stuck, unable to move. I speak candidly about reaching out to my therapist and how therapy saved my life.

 

From Behind Closed Doors: One Man’s Journey of Reaching Out For Help

& The Woman Who Saved Him

Won 2nd place for this year's Women's History Month Celebration Essay Contest

Written by Mark Travis Rivera

Dedicated to Daisy Rodriguez

I never knew how powerful it would feel to speak—and how having someone else listen would heal my brokenness.

As a Latino, I was raised in an environment that taught me that speaking about issues that occurred behind closed doors was not permitted. From a young age, I was taught not to trust individuals, such as therapists, because therapy was “what white people did” and “you are no gringo, you don’t talk to people about what happens in this house.” Suffering from behind closed doors, I found myself sitting in my room during my first semester in college, crying and unable to stop.

One day I could not get out of bed. The depression came over me and I became physically ill. That day marked the darkest moment in my transition from high school to college. As I tried to reflect on the lessons taught in my freshmen seminar course from my educational opportunity fund summer semester, I remembered there was a therapist, a woman who spoke about emotional intelligence, a fellow Latino, Daisy Rodriguez and on November 21, 2010 I reached out to Daisy to begin therapy. On that day, I began the process of healing, finally someone who would truly listen.

This year will make three years since I started therapy and at first I never spoke about it out of shame but in time I learned to embrace it. As an advocate for therapy, I have encouraged people to seek help and try to remind them that they are not alone. In the last three years I have come to appreciate my one-hour a week with Daisy. She’s become my sounding board, an ear for all of my concerns, and an anchor in the midst of the storm. From issues with my mother, to break-ups, school challenges, and my successes, I have had Daisy to share it all with. She’s been there for me every step of the way, with her objectivity, her affirming nod, and her sincere concern for my well-being.

Daisy saved me from the pit of my depression; she got me through my suicidal ideations, and got me through a dark period when my life flashed before my eyes. Daisy is my hero—she has an “E” on her chest because her empathy, ability to encourage me, and the shared experiences has kept me from dealing with my demons alone. During my darkest hour, I find solace knowing that I will have Daisy to help me. I will be able to speak knowing that she will listen to every single word, analyzing every story and my body language, and then she will ask me a profound question or two, which always challenges me to reflect and come to realizations I kept trying to ignore.

From behind closed doors I reached out to a woman who deemed me worthy of helping—by replying to my email, she began my journey towards healing, she became my healer. I will always appreciate her, my hero.

If today you struggled to get out of bed, know that you are not alone—there are things you can do to get help and I strongly suggest seeking out therapy. Put aside the stigma, there’s no shame in admitting that you struggled to physically and mentally get out of bed and that you are depressed.

So speak out, get up, and keep living.

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