Gay Grid

Maybe I am the only one who notices this, or even cares enough to vent about it BUT I am tired of the Gay Grid of Northern NJ.

I find that so many people are connected to each other, either sexually or just someone you were talking to, but things didn't pan out. It's slightly disturbing to be honest, the fact that the Gay Community can be mapped out in such a way that there is more than 2 people in common.

Facebook probably only makes it worse, but Im ready for the Gay Community to expand, because in Paterson alone, you have so many closeted gays, and so many who think that no one knows, and then suddenly, you find out that this gay talked to this bi, who then talked to this confused individual.

It's a MESS! Really looking forward to college and for my network of people, straight and gay alike to grow.

May I also add, to all my gays, please be smart, be safe- and no matter what, don't talk to your friend's exes, that is just grimy.

Lack Of Balance

It's been months since I've written a blog, and it's been just as long since I've written a great poem. I am finding it hard to balance myself creatively between dance and writing. I mean I am constantly thinking of dance, creating new movement, new pieces, and what music to use.

I get inspired to move at any moment, and yet, the inspiration to write is LACKING! I miss the empathetic poet inside of me, the one that use to get inspired by anyone's life story and write a poem about it.

Now I will try to write, and I'll get stuck, or it won't be as good as I would like it to be. There is a clear lack of balance and I am trying to balance myself.

There is guilt attached to all of this, the writer within me makes me feel like I am robbing myself of a precious gift I was given to write, to move people with my lines-now I aim to move them through the stories I tell through movement, through a dance piece.

It is difficult for me right now to find the balance, but I hope to soon.

I miss writing, I miss the relief I felt through poetry.